Blue Voters Without a Clue

Abdulrahman Mohamed El-Sayed campaigns for the U.S. Senate at approximately preschool level. Sounds like a winning move.

EDITOR’S NOTE: The following video was posted on June 25, 2026 by Abdulrahman Mohamed El-Sayed, who on August 4 won the Democratic nomination for the United States Senate in Michigan. We showed it to T.W., after bribing him with an industrial quantity of carrots. He watched it once, then asked whether America had recently lowered the minimum age for senators from thirty to four. He said considerably more than that, but most of it is unpublishable. We did, however, recover several usable passages from the rant, which we reproduce below.

From T.W.:

I was initially confused by this video, then I discovered that Mr Abdulrahman Mohamed El-Sayed was a Soros Fellow and experienced the warm relief that comes when the final piece of a particularly stupid jigsaw clicks into place.

The video suggested that El-Sayed was seeking the support of citizens whose principal political concerns were apple juice, whether dinosaurs could beat sharks in a fight, and the whereabouts of their left shoe. I therefore checked the United States Constitution and discovered, to my surprise, that the minimum age for election to the Senate remains thirty. There has apparently been no Twenty-Eighth Amendment lowering it to four.

I then checked the state. This seemed important. For several seconds I was convinced El-Sayed must be campaigning in Minnesota, a state which has recently acquired an internationally impressive number of establishments containing the words Quality Learing Center on the sign, and lack of voter ID for some reason, while simultaneously producing the sort of political movements that require acronyms like M.A.D.E. If anywhere in the Union had decided that public life should now be conducted at approximately preschool level, Minnesota seemed the obvious candidate.

Perhaps the Senate campaign had been relocated into one of these facilities. Perhaps there was a federal matching grant for every time a grown man successfully identified a mailbox. Perhaps “We just got a letter” was not a song at all but the first stage of an invoicing procedure.

But no. Michigan. He is running for the United States Senate from Michigan. This meant I had to watch the video again, which required another carrot and a brief period facing the wall.

It is difficult to explain what happens to the mind when a supposedly educated adult who wishes to help govern a nuclear-armed superpower looks into a camera and performs Blue’s Clues at you. I tried applying the same communications strategy elsewhere. “We just got intelligence, we just got intelligence, I wonder who it’s from.” Perhaps it’s my friend Iran. Perhaps the CIA. Open it together! “Oh look, it’s a classified assessment of Chinese naval capacity. Thanks, Director of National Intelligence!” Then we all clap, wag our tails and proceed to the Appropriations Committee. The debt ceiling could be explained with coloured blocks. Confirmation hearings could use finger puppets. The chairman could ask nominees where the Supreme Court is hiding, and the entire chamber could shout BEHIND YOU!

Unfortunately, I kept researching. This was a mistake. I discovered that El-Sayed had actually taken Hasan Piker onto the campaign trail, holding university rallies with a man whose previous contributions to American political discourse include the immortal 2019 observation that “America deserved 9/11”. For the uninitiated in online/streaming culture, perhaps Piker’s greatest claim to fame is the strange affair of the dog shock collar, which we won’t get into here. And I should mention his view of the U.S. Constitution (warning: profanity abounds):

And the Founding Fathers:

And let’s not forget this gem:

Or this one:

I could go on, but you get the picture. After thousands of hours of online streaming, we have a fairly good idea of who this famous DSA member is and what he thinks. To be fair to Piker, nobody can accuse him of concealing his opinions. Give him a camera and enough hours and eventually everything comes out. This distinguishes him rather sharply from the average politician, who can spend twenty years in front of cameras without accidentally revealing whether he has a thought at all.

El-Sayed does not call himself a socialist, which was reassuring for almost four seconds. Piker explained that he liked him anyway. At this point I began wondering whether Blue’s Clues was less an aberration than a coalition-building exercise.

Then I reached the family section.

El-Sayed’s father-in-law, Dr Tayeb Jukaku, sits on the board of CAIR-Michigan and has been reported as serving on the Founders Committee of the Islamic Society of North America. He has also contributed $300,000 to the super PAC backing his son-in-law, a figure visible in the FEC filings themselves. ISNA, I subsequently discovered, appeared in the Holy Land Foundation litigation on a federal prosecutors’ list of organizations they alleged “are and/or were members of the US Muslim Brotherhood.” The Fifth Circuit record confirms both the existence of that government allegation and an important qualification: it was an untested allegation, not a criminal finding against ISNA. I should therefore emphasise that none of this establishes that El-Sayed is a member of the Muslim Brotherhood. Incidentally, the United States has formally designated multiple Muslim Brotherhood branches as terrorist organisations, including the Lebanese and Sudanese branches as Foreign Terrorist Organisations, while designating the Egyptian and Jordanian branches under its global-terrorism sanctions regime. Strangely, Western governments have still not designated the Muslim Brotherhood in its entirety as a terrorist organisation, especially when several Muslim-majority countries already have.

I had encountered this arrangement before: the progressive left supplying the language, universities, activist machinery and electoral coalition; Islamists arriving with an entirely different theology and rather different long-term ideas about society; everybody temporarily discovering that they hate roughly the same people. One side wants socialism, decolonisation and seventeen genders. The other has historically shown rather less enthusiasm for at least one of those seventeen. Yet somehow they keep turning up at the same demonstrations.

Perhaps this is merely one of history’s more entertaining marriages of convenience. Perhaps each side believes it is using the other.

I am only a rabbit. But if I were trying to smuggle an ideological movement into American politics, I confess that “Vote skidoo, we can too!” would not have occurred to me.

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